It's crazy to say this, but something really good happened to me last week: I got laid off. It wasn't too surprising, although nobody ever expects it to happen the moment it happens. The company was just not focused on the web/e-commerce side of the business anymore, so there wasn't much for me to do. It took me a few hours to realize that I was relieved. Relieved to not be working for someone; relieved to not have to drive an hour each way every day; relieved to be out of the highly political environment it was; and relieved to find myself in this situation at this point in my life - meaning no mortgage, no kids, a little money in the bank, and a great relationship.
It then took me a couple more days to realize that what I really want to do now is start my own thing. I tried not to come to terms with that for a few days - instead I spent plenty of time watching movies with girlfriends, sipping wine at cafes, and playing with Hasan and Roxie. Interwoven in that time were moments that flashed through my mind...moments where I saw myself in the future finally being the person who could lunch and shop and go to museums when I want to and yet work hard on something I really believed in and is the fruit of my own toiling. Those snapshots of a future were really nice.
Come Monday morning, I had made the decision to do it. There are lots of good ideas on the table - some for shorter term revenues, some for the longer term. Who would I be if I hadn't already made a plan to execute on 7 different projects? :)
But I feel it. I feel it in my bones that I can do this. I have some great role models for this - my sister, Susan and Tracy come to mind. I have some great champions - Wendy tells me I am awesome, smart and capable. Hillary tells me I am talented. Hasan is a steady source of encouragement. I know it's going to be a lot of work, but I'm a hard worker. And it's not feeling like hard work when it's Saturday afternoon and I'm sitting on my roof deck enjoying the sun and waiting for Hasan to make iced tea - all while I work on the next steps for each of my ideas. I am going to spend a bit of time looking for a job, and if something fantastic comes my way, I'll have to seriously consider it.
I think I've always wanted this - it's in part what made working from home in Miami so nice. Now I'm on my own schedule and I can go to yoga or pilates, French class or swimming practice, whenever I feel like it. Maybe best of all, I get to take care of and play with my kitty as much as I want.
Who knows if it will all come together as I envision now - most likely it won't as life is rarely what you expect. But I'm enjoying the ride so far...
And last but not least - here are some pics from July. We had a really fabulous time at a July 4th barbecue at Hasan's cousin Darnell's home. What a beautiful day.
